Ed/Eddie/Edward: Why is this so hard?

How can someone be constantly on your mind when you don't even have the balls to talk to him in the first place? Well that would imply that I have balls...which I don't. Oh and on another note, he has no idea I exist outside of where I work. Eddie comes into my place of work about twice a month. He always leaves a donation and probably orders the same thing and at this point I couldn't care less because once his name comes up I forget how to Noosh. A simple smile is all I get once he comes in and to be honest that is all I need. Who am I kidding. I need a lot more. He is tall and a total beefcake and...and nothing. I'll leave Eddie to my fantasy and just keep doing my thing, whatever that may be. If being forever alone is a "thing" then I pretty much have that covered.